Q: To whom can I complain if I have a problem or am not satisfied?

A: You can tell God and the US Marines, but please don’t be so tacky and ungrateful as to vent your frustrations on our Welcome Center staff or maintenance crew. We’re letting you use our facilities for free, remember? We are not people you have “hired” and these are not facilities you have “rented.”

We do not guarantee the weather.
We do not guarantee that your minister will show up on time.
We guarantee nothing at all.

Most weddings go smoothly and everyone leaves happy-happy-happy. These are the weddings that make us feel good about opening our private school campus to you and letting you use our landmark chapel. But on those rare occasions when a bride, a groom, or the mother-of-either-one chooses to get cranky and begins to make demands… well, to be honest, in those moments it’s very tempting just to call the Sheriff, have everyone thrown off the property, and go back to having a closed, private school campus with a beautiful chapel available only to students of our school.

A wise and gentle thing for you to do, dear reader, would be to make sure that the bride, the groom, and all the other guests in your wedding party are made aware of what you have just read. – Sincerely, Roy H. Williams – Founder of Wizard Academy